Below Deck Mediterranean
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First, lets address the elephant in the primary suite: Yes,Below Deckis a lot like quarantine.
Its a bunch of people stuck together in close quarters for a prolonged time.
So lets look at it a different way.
Dont you want to enjoy something familiar, a show with an unwavering formula for success?
But tables be damned, Hannah is back and Im glad to see her.
Malia, season twos eventual lead deckhand, is also back.
Shell have quite a deck crew to straighten out.
Theres Alex, who is from Boston.
Hannahs interior crew, meanwhile, feels oddly familiar.
Hey, if she wants to decorate tables, maybe she deserves the job!
This show has had many Jessicas, and I love them so.
Theres also Kiko, who enters Captain Sandys cursed galley as chef.
As the provisions come in, the boys waste no time flirting with the girls.
Rob has his eye on Jess, while Pete wants to be that Italian Stallion with Lara.
Multiple things can be true!
The two get into another disagreement after provisions, when Hannah radios Lara to ask about some misplaced beer.
when Hannah claims she asked, Did the beer come?
you might read it both ways, our uncreative second stew explains.
She also tells us that sometimes, people think shes being a jerk when shes actually being calm.
I cant wait to start telling my roommates that.
Its Jesss 29th birthday and chartering a yacht seems like an adequate present for all that work.
We join them on a tour of theWellington, which is 30 feet longer thanSiroccoand has infinite seating options.
Then were off, cruising off the coast of Mallorca, a Spanish island.
Id make fun of Pete for not knowing that Spain had islands, but honestly, I didnt either.
In the galley, she asks Hannah if she should add marg mix to her eight-second pour of tequila.
Hannah appreciates Jessicas attitude because, well, she cant be mad at both of her stews.
A great attitude indeed.
Its a sweet gesture, but were in Spain!
And its late anyway.
What does that even mean?
Sandy goes back to the kitchen and tries some of Kikos shrimp, which she assures him is delicious.
Good, because Kiko is already scared of getting fired, despite already proving infinitely more competent than Mila.
She can do the job!
Hannah hasnt demoted Lara, she reasons, shes just switched her with Jessica.
But if Jessica is third stew, doesnt that mean …?
The crew changes into their (now-collarless!)
blacks and the stews survey their Michaels-grade table decorations.
They shape pebbles into indiscernible shapes and call it good.
Everyone loves it except for Chris, who claims that his steak is dry.
Im starting to question Chriss tastes.
But Sandy comes back out and offers him another steak, which he takes and enjoys.
She also tastes Kikos steak and, once again, tells him its delicious.
I get that Mila was horrific, but I hope Sandy stops micromanaging poor Kiko.
Thats where episode one leaves us, but not without teasing the rest of the season.
Ill take it all with Jessicas strongest margarita, c’mon.
They could get some parenting advice from 27-year-old Pete, the proud father of an 8-year-old son.
