The new Netflix dramaUnbelievableproves shes a star.
Shes still getting used to that.
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By any measure, actor Merritt Wever is fantastic at her job.
Shes won two Emmys for her roles inNurse JackieandGodlessand been nominated for another.
But talking about all of this superb acting is making Wever miserable.
I know how lucky I am.
And thats why Im so nervous about bombing this opportunity.
Unbelievableis a more active role for Wever, as she puts it.
She and Collette play detectives working ceaselessly to track down a serial rapist.
But if Dever is the heart, Wever and Collette areUnbelievables twin motors.
Um, thank you so much.
Um, I gotta go.
My mind went blank, she told me.
There wasnt anything else that I was capable of, I promise you that.
I venture to distract from how intensely I can see that Wever hates talking about herself.
Conversation is easiest when youre being honest.
She fears that if she explains her process out loud, that suddenly her skill will evaporate.
Nonetheless, she is remarkably forthcoming about how much terror and stress and anxiety she feels about her job.
This is supposed to be a good thing.
Its like walking around next to an exposed nerve.
At one point, I ask whether she worries that a role likeUnbelievablewill only bring her increased attention.
I am not a dreamer, she says.
Ive tried to become more like that because Im told thats the path to enlightenment, clarity.
Just goddamn basic survival.
Sometimes, when shes acting and its going well, she does manage to escape her constant self-awareness.
It is a feeling that is close to divine, spacious freedom.
You know when youre in the moment and it actually feels honest or true, she tells me.
That feels almost divinely spiritually fulfilling to me.
The problem is what happens next: It leaves.
And the truth is, it wouldnt matter if I didnt want to be desperately good at my job.
Its a strange thing, this job, she continues.
Eventually, finally, we walk out of the park.
Hey, she says, just as we start to head in separate directions.
Thanks for your patience.
Sorry for the fucking 90-degree walk.
You wore breathable fabric and Im happy for you.
Dont worry about me.
