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Italics denote decoded text.
I have had my whim, tried the thing, and pretty much it has cost me.
I shall in future perhaps do more wisely and within my compass …
I shall now get out of my scrape as well as I can, and can manage it tolerably.
This diary entry captures where Anne Lister was emotionally around the time that Wainwrightopens the series.
In April 1832, she was at a really low ebb, Wainwright said of Lister.
She was really devastated by the failure of the relationship with Vere Hobart, which had never become sexual.
Which was rare for her, she pushed it as far as she could.
She was very practical even though she was absolutely heartbroken, Wainwright said.
17th August 1832: Ann Walker little dreams what is in Anne Listers mind
Out at 7 12.
First spoke to Pickels (pretty angrily) in the walk.
Miss W behaved very well about it.
We get on very well so far.
But I think we have to be careful how we use contemporary language to consider her behavior.
And Mrs Priestley came at four.
No, said I, I only ought to have been.
My aunt had been quite in a host of miseries.
I laughed and said I really did not intend doing so again.
Yes, she replied angrily, you will do the same the very next time the temptation occurs.
Plain proof, thought I, of what you think and that you smoke[suspect]a little.
I parried all with good humour saying that I really must stay all night.
She never offered the least resistance …
I laughed and said how nicely that was said, then answered that nature taught me.
I could have replied, And who taught you?
Shes the first person in history who talked really clearly about gay lesbian sex.
Prior to her diaries being decoded, people just didnt believe that women had sex at this time.
Anne Lister was very careful who she bestowed her friendship on.
Kept him waiting ten minutes and went down at 9 14 and had him 14 or 20 minutes.
Had the coal plan.
He thought they could not get 10 acres.
Not to go lower than Wakefield road upper wall.
It was not my intention to take any unfair advantage of anyone.
He said I might now send down into the works whenever I liked.
Still maintained the coal would cost them getting sixpence acorveand there would only be 4 corves per square yard.
Said that the collier should have as much as the landlord i.e.
Messrs Rawson and I ought to divide equally the profit.
All the terms before proposed agreed to, I conclude as no objection was made.
Mr Rawson said Holt had the coal was not worth more than 160 per acre.
Did you hear him say so?
Then I dont believe he said anything.
Mr R said he was never beaten but by ladies and I had beaten him.
Not done from caprice but from a fear of our not suiting.
She saw my aunt thought she had behaved ill. My being so like a man then entered into and defended the Blackstone Edge business.
It was overhearing one of the post boys say I was a man in petticoats that set her wrong.
I dont remember ever hearing this before.
I said not much, but how astounded I had been to find myself second to William Lawton.
InGentleman Jacks upcoming seventh episode, Wainwright dramatizes this past between Lister and Mariana, an old flame.
She often risked offending public opinion by dressing the way that she did.
She often got insults whispered behind her back or even thrown at her.
But it didnt stop her dressing the way she felt comfortable.
No magnificence of dress but everything assez bien.
The palace moderately handsome.
All the princesses spoke to me conversationally.
Particularly Princess Christian and the Princess Wilhelmma.She asked me if I had been much in the Grande Monde.
I answered no, not very much.
Princess Christian admired my headdress.
I said I had had grand puer about it.
It had come down and Mrs Brown had arranged it.
One of the Queens Maids of Honour observed my magnificent blonde and said it was not from Paris.
Yes, but I had brought it here.
Was in black and had nothing white with me.
Could get everything good but stockings.
I shall know better what to say by and by …
I generally, on coming away, remember some gaucherie but I dont care.
I shall learn in time.
She literally talked herself into the queen of Denmarks court.
I just love her audaciousness and the fact that the way that she got there.
Breakfast at 8 12.
At Goodramgate Church at 10.35.
Miss W and I and Thomas stayed the sacrament.
Declined going to hear the fine anthem at 4 in the Minster.
Walked to the village of Heworth and by the Stockton road back in an hour.
And at Monk-bar church at 2 12.
Off to Dr Belcombes at 5 14.
Dined about 5 12, coffee, tea.
Sat up talking till 12 12 tonight.
It was a very private understanding between them, Wainwright said.
They go off and do other things; it isnt like a wedding day.
