Dont run your jokes by your mom.
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But some lessons are more memorable than others.
As youll read below, the answers were all as varied as the comics who provided them.
Some of the advice can apply to any profession: Know your audience.
Know what youre making after taxes.
Todd Glass
Dont drink the night before you do radio.
I did that once, had to get up at 6 a.m., and was vomiting outside the car.
And dont overdrink onstage.
You feel shitty in the morning and you have really bad shows.
Im not talking about three or four drinks.
That can even help.
But no more than five.
Jena Friedman
Dont run your jokes by your mom.
Mark Normand
You know how they say, Know your audience?
I always thought,No, if youre funny, youre funny, just go in there.
Grow up, ya pussy!
I was likeOh, this crowd doesnt care that Im an introvert.
They dont know what that word means.
That means gayto them.So I had to learn the hard way to know your crowd.
I also went through a phase where I was too mistrustful and thought everyone was out to get me.
But I learned through trial and error that it doesnt matter who you trust.
Dont put that much pressure on any one relationship or person and let it be what it is.
Beth Stelling
Some things are just for you.
Roy Wood Jr.
You have to trust your instincts and not other people.
Sam Jay
Bombing never stops sucking.
You still feel that bomb and it takes a little to shake it off.
Dave Hill
I opened for Snoop Dogg once.
It was what I like to call a character builder.
That said, I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Nick Thune
Never wear a deep V-neck onstage.
Nobody wants to see that.
Unless maybe if youre Russell Brand.
Addie Weyrich
Never.
Mike Lawrence
Ask what youre going to make after taxes.
So if you get a credit, do not quit your job.
And to just bring something to make yourself feel better at the club.
The down time between the 8:00 and the 10:30 will kill you.
Having a legit day job instead of wondering where my next meal was coming from would have been good.
Rob says youre funny and Im short a comic wanna go up?
I was like, Ive never done it.
He said, You get two free drinks.
I said, Im in.
I went to the bar, wrote a set, and went up when they called me.
I was fatter then and had long hair and a goatee.
My opening line was I know what youre thinking, Christ the Lord hasreallylet himself go.
Its not my fault.
I have one loaf of bread, it becomes five.
The weeks to come were brutal.
I didnt always bomb, but I never did amazing not like that first time.
It took months to get my legs, years to get my voice.
That first time felt amazing, but I still wince at the memory of one gig two weeks later.
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